Have you ever purchased a pair of leather pants? Whether you rocked a pair of these pants in the 60’s or 80’s, or you have never dared to grace your legs with such an unforgiveable fabric, we all know these pants are known for two things: being uncomfortable and being a little racy. I mean, I understand the uncomfortable part (hello, no breathing room!), but for the life of me I cannot figure out why leather pants have held an inappropriate stigma. Is it because leather outfits are typically seen on biker gangs? Or because leather pants remind people of the hip-thrusting, back-combed hair, smoking rebels in the movie “Grease”? Either way, styles always circulate, and, according to Instagram, leather pants are coming out of the time capsule, yet again . . . and I wanted a pair. But, sitting there at my computer with the perfect pleather pants in my cart, it was a struggle for me to finally click, ‘check out’. And then, when they finally came in the mail I had an internal conflict, struggling to get up the courage to walk out of the house with the black shine on my legs. Why? Well, for a long time now I have been wrestling with judgements. Judgements that stem from expectations that I put on myself as to how I think I should act, what I should wear, what I should be like, things I should (or should not) say, as well as the judgments that others put on me. These judgements that I FEEL from other people, whether real or not, still weigh on me. And, as I looked in the mirror and tried to prepare myself to walk out of the house with the pants on, I could ‘hear’ all of the opinions about my pants. And more than just opinions about the pants, opinions about ME; judgements about why I wore them, what I could have been thinking to buy them, what kind of example I am trying to set as a Christian (you know, because of the racy stigma I mentioned earlier), etc. Do you struggle with similar internal messages? The problem may actually not be the unspoken judgements of others that run through your mind, but rather judgements about others from you.
Recently I listened to a ‘self-help’ podcast where the speakers exclaimed that we shouldn’t worry about what anyone else thinks about us because no one is thinking about us . . . everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves. At first I thought that comment was so freeing and revolutionary! You mean to say that no one is thinking about me or judging me ever? They are actually just thinking about themselves? Awesome! But, ashamedly, I had to raise my hand and call out B.S. The speakers themselves might never think about or judge other people, but I know that I do. I know that I can’t be the only one either. And HELLO, remember the Pharisees? That was their whole M.O. . . looking at others and judging their appearance, action, situation, job, character, etc. Thanks for trying to make us feel better about ourselves ‘self-help podcast people’, but that comment just gave a false sense of hope. The fact of the matter is, the leather pants that I bought were a small part of a larger problem I am dealing with. The weight of expectations and the fear of judgement that I felt over a simple pair of pants showed me that there are bigger judgements and expectations that plague me on a day by day basis. These pants opened a door to show me the role that judgements play in my life and most importantly, they shone a light on a dark spot in my own heart.
You see, one of the reasons that I could so easily feel and hear the judgements of others in my own head was because I knew what I would be thinking if I were them. And, because I spend time and energy judging other people’s style, hobbies, actions, and motives (just being brutally honest here . . .) then I was a master at ‘figuring out’ what others would think of me. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, we judge each other. Whether it’s a lot or a little, it doesn’t matter, it happens. The weight of other’s judgements and expectations, especially in the church, has been something that I’ve struggled with for a long time. I realized recently that part of the reason I struggle with this is because I am a part of the problem. If I ever want to be free of those weighty, worldly expectations and loosen the chains of the judgements of others, then I have to start with myself. If I were to stop thinking about what others are doing and bring to a halt the unneeded and unnecessary judgements I make towards them, then these same judgements wouldn’t boomerang back to me. I wouldn’t spend so much time worrying and taking up space in my own mind, dwelling on the judgements that they may (or may not) be making towards to me.
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 7:12
Are you ready to stop this unhealthy, unhelpful cycle and free up that space in your own mind to step away from judging – both yourself and others? I am joining you on this journey. Let’s take some next steps to freedom from judgement. We have to trust God to take us on this transformation journey. A journey where we are willing to have our minds transformed (Romans 12:2), to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5), and to call out those wrong judgements in our minds the moment that they happen by taking the time to repent.
Here is why, I believe, that it’s integral to the health of the Church and our individual, spiritual health to stop wasting time making wrong and unbiblical judgements:
1. WE WASTE TIME BY MAKING EXCUSES
For the longest time (seriously, the longest), I would tell myself that God tells us not to judge unbelievers, but that the Bible tells us to judge each other. So, each judgmental thought that I would have towards another believer, every complaint against them, would be followed up with my validation that ‘I am allowed to judge you for not being more like Jesus!’ How awful. And not only that, but I have heard other Christians use that excuse too: “We are supposed to judge each other!” Where does this idea even come from? Well, scripture . . . It comes from scripture.
“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. ‘Expel the wicked person from among you.'”
1 Corinthians 5:12-13
“SEE!”, you might be saying, “It does say it!” Yes, this verse does tell us to judge other Christians. But, as humans and Christians, there is only one thing we are qualified to judge and that is the fruit that people produce. We are not asked to judge what people wear, what political party they vote for, whether they choose to get the vaccine or not, the people they hang out with or their personalities. We are asked to judge and call out blatant sin in the lives of brothers and sisters because it is our duty to point them to Christ and to love them. Is your Christian friend going out and getting drunk on the weekends? Sleeping around? Being lazy? Lying? It is your duty as their brother or sister to judge the actions that go against God, the ones that you can see, not the heart motives that you assume. Judging them for anything other than the fruit you see is not rooted in love but in pride and it is not what God asks us to do. (I found a great article that explains in depth what God, in His Word, says about judging one another. You can read it here. There are times where it is important to judge each other according to what scripture calls us to. I am, however, sticking to discussing the many wrong judgements we make in this post).
I learned all of this the hard way. The Holy Spirit took me on a crazy journey a few months ago where He pointed out, blatantly, every single time I wrongly judged someone for a few weeks or so. And let me tell you friends, I was horrified at my own thoughts! I couldn’t believe it! And most of all, I couldn’t believe that the pattern of these thoughts had become so ingrained in my daily interactions with people that I didn’t even notice them. They flew under the radar. Take the time to seek this out for yourself and ask Jesus if there is any hidden, sinful ways that He might want to pull out of you. If you struggle like me, then stop making excuses for your continued wrongful judgment of others and stop using the words from 1 Corinthians 5 to justify your sin. Do you find this hard and seemingly impossible to break the power of? Me too! But, God knows that it is human inclination to judge one another wrongly. That’s why the Bible proclaims ‘do not judge’ many more times in scripture than the call to ‘judge’. I believe that the more that we call out these wrong judgements that we make against others, the less we will notice those things that we aren’t supposed to judge, finding freedom in our thoughts about others and freedom against judgement for ourselves.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Galatians 6:1
2. JUDGING IS A WASTE OF TIME BECAUSE GOD HASN’T GIVEN US THE AUTHORITY TO DO SO
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
John 3:17
The story of the woman caught in adultery is a classic story of Jesus’ grace and mercy (John 8:1-8). This woman, caught in the literal act of her sin, is humiliated and dragged out before a crowd of people who are ready to stone her for her act of adultery. Jesus, sinless and perfect, the only one of them who is qualified to judge her, doesn’t. He shows her mercy and loves on her, inviting her into the Kingdom of God. The woman knew her sin, she didn’t need to be told again. It was ready to be thrown in her face (literally, in the shape of large, murder sized rocks). Instead of condemning the woman, Jesus responds with a thought provoking question to the crowd. He says: “Let any of you that is without sin throw the first stone at her.” One by one the crowd walks away. Only Jesus is left, the only one qualified to judge her for her sin, chooses not to and instead invites her into a life away from her sin.
“I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. If anyone hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge that person. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save the world.”
John 12:46-47
If the Son of Man did not even come to the earth to judge the sinners and wrong doers around Him, what gives any of us the right? Maybe that is one of the larger messages in this story. He will come back to judge – because that is the authority that He has as the King of Kings. But His whole purpose in coming to the earth (the first time) has nothing to do with judgement. And if we, as little Christ’s, are to emulate Jesus here on earth, then that rings true for us too. If you are without sin, feel free to cast a stone of judgement on your neighbour. Yet, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Yes, there may be times where Jesus, the one with the authority to judge, invites us to lovingly call another believer to account for something they have done … then by all means, lovingly share what the Judge has asked you to share. But, if Jesus doesn’t invite you to do it, it’s best to toss aside your stone.
3. JUDGING OTHERS IS A WASTE OF TIME BECAUSE WE DON’T JUDGE ACCURATELY
“Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you – who are you to judge your neighbour?“
James 4:11-12
Jesus understands what it feels like to be judged. The Pharisees wrongly judged Him on multiple occasions. They looked at His actions towards people and frequently misjudged them to be wrong and to be from Satan. And we know that the judgments that the Pharisees made against Jesus’ motivations and intentions were wrong, no matter how justified they felt in their judgements against Him. In the same way, we cannot judge accurately because we can never know a person’s heart, motivations or situation FULLY. Only God knows their heart, and it is sinful for us to put ourselves in that judgement seat when we don’t have the full story. It is sinful whether we approach them and say it to their face, behind their back, or whether we just think it about them. We waste time judging others because we get it wrong more often then not, so what’s the point?
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7
4. WE WASTE TIME JUDGING WHEN WE COULD BE LOVING
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Okay, I realize how corny that heading sounds, but it is a realization that struck me not long ago. What a waste of time it is to judge people for things that God doesn’t call us to judge when we could be using that same energy to love them instead. Judging should not be the primary purpose of our relationships with one another. Instead, everything should be measured against whether or not it is done in love. In 1 Corinthians 12, the passage leading up to the most popular wedding scripture about love, Paul talks about spiritual gifts and the importance of using our gifts to serve the church. The connection between the two chapters is this: What’s the point of having and using any of the supernatural gifts given by the Spirit of God if you do not love those you are serving? In the same way, is the judgement that you are making showing love to that person? Is it going to show them you care and is it going to point them towards Christ? If the answer is no, then it’s useless and there is no place for that judgement in the Kingdom of God. It takes energy to think the thoughts you think. Do you want to use that energy and that time thinking unhelpful, judgmental thoughts towards a brother or sister? Or would you rather bless them, pray for them and think about how you can encourage them in Christ? I hope your answer is the latter.
“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25
THE WARNING
Like I mentioned briefly above, there is a time to judge others, as well as ourselves justly: when we have the right heart motive, we are loving, and the judgement, although difficult, will benefit the Kingdom. Jesus gave a warning to the Pharisees about placing themselves in that seat of judgement. This warning stands true for us too and is one that should be heeded. It goes like this:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5
Maybe this isn’t your struggle. I commend you and invite you to keep walking in that freedom! But if you, like me, struggle to even leave the house wearing a pair of leather pants because of the fear and weight of people’s judgements, then I invite you to ask yourself this question: why am I so aware of what others would say about me and how am I wasting time judging them? Something I always say to my friends when giving advice is: “you can only do what you can do.” I cannot control what other people’s thoughts are about me. I can, however, control my own thoughts. And so I am going to do what I can do. And what I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to do that hard work of revealing to me the unhelpful and wrong judgements that I make towards my brothers and sisters; to transform my mind and renew my thoughts to love and bless and encourage instead. Then, instead of my own judgements about others boomeranging back to me about myself, I will receive the love and grace that I give out as a replacement because the measure you use, will be measured to you. And let me tell you friends, in recent days it has been MUCH easier to wear those leather pants out of the house.
Written by: Justine Joy
Refined Joy 