Leadership is a tricky thing. Heck, working with people can often be challenging. As the young adult’s pastor at our church, I have around eight young adult aged leaders that work under me to plan, prep and run our young adult ministry. I am also the children’s pastor. Our children’s ministry has around eighty five volunteers. That’s eighty five people that I am trying to equip, train, lead and serve so that they can do a great job sharing Jesus with our kids. We need each of these volunteers to serve because each of their gifts and talents matter and I believe team work in the Kingdom of God is what is going to bless and reach the most people. Yet sometimes, I run into the problem of setting people up well and then being disappointed because they fail. I give them everything they need to do a good job . . . Lists, expectations, support, prayer, conversations, calendars, etc . . . I feel my expectation for my leaders to have an event fully planned and ready to go with all of the materials collected and ready seems reasonable, seeing as I’ve told them exactly what to do and I haven’t overloaded them with too much to do in a short amount of time because I’ve told them months in advance. So, you can see why, when they show up having prepared the night before and have forgotten to collect half of the materials, I get frustrated. It’s in these moments that I build up bitterness towards leadership. I am quick to show my disappointment. So what do I do? The next time I equip them with everything I need for them to do a good job again – give them the same materials, support, and advice and I expect a different result. The frustration I feel in my heart over their failure to be successful is often overwhelming. Why? Because I believe that I have put everything they need in place and done my part completely, and so, when they fail, it is totally and completely on their lack of effort. The other day I was about to go and sit and have another conversation with another volunteer about how they weren’t doing what I had asked them to do. I have been running these two separate ministries with almost one hundred volunteers for four years and it was only when I was about to have, yet another conversation about this with this volunteer that God shared with me something about leadership, myself and other people that had never even crossed my mind before.
“When people are failing to do the job you have asked them to do, find out WHY that is. What’s the underlying reason they aren’t doing what you asked? Life circumstances? An overwhelming amount of tasks? Misunderstanding? Something you have put in place is not setting them up to succeed. Get to the root of the problem so that they can thrive. Don’t always assume that they just don’t want to do it.”
You see, I am quick to assume that, when someone doesn’t do the job I’ve set in front of them, it is because they don’t care. Why do I automatically assume the worst? I think partly it comes from being burned before by people who really didn’t care, and developing a callous over my leadership heart, but it is no excuse and does nothing to serve me, my volunteers, or my ministries. When we start putting the blame solely on other people and stop assuming that there is a way we can improve, we are hindering growth and potential. When we do this we are not being good leaders to our people and we are being bad stewards of the position that God has given us to move people from “here” to “there”. Let me paint a picture of what I think this looks like . . .
During the summer, our young adults group always heads out to my childhood cabin to camp together and spend a whole weekend in community. It is one of the richest times for our group for the year – tons of fun, memories made, conversations to encourage and to bless, and time set aside to pour into our personal relationships with the Lord. Because this cabin is about a four and a half hour drive, the last two years I have taken some vacation time right before that and gone up early. This last summer, my friend and co-worker, Steph, and I went up on Wednesday and everyone else joined us on Friday. We had both had a ton of things going on at work and so this was a welcome vacation. The ideal vacation for me is sweltering hot weather, a beach and some down time to read and swim. I was craving some serious lake time.
On our way up to the cabin we decided to stop at Michaels in Red Deer. I had seen some floating tubes that were bright, sparkly and in the shape of different birds and I thought they would be the perfect way to officiate our unwinding, vacation time. We loaded them in the car and made the final stretch to the cabin. It was about 7:00 pm when we arrived, and, even though the day was cool and not a single soul was out on the lake we immediately threw our bags into the cabin and started to blow up our floaties. We were determined to make it on the lake each day of this trip – not squandering a second of precious time! To our great surprise, the swan and flamingo floaty ended up being huge! Even though the package showed them filling up a good portion of a pool, our expectation were set low. The last time we had decided to buy a blow up toy, it was sorrily disappointing. We had purchased a pool at the dollar store one summer because it was so hot and we needed a cool down solution. We blew it up at home and were immediately let down. It was so small that it could only fit one person’s leg at a time. Yes, I said LEG. So much for a sustainable way to cool down in the summer!
These floaties did not disappoint. They were so big we had to throw them up onto our backs to make the three minute walk to the dock. These things were made to hold two people each! As we hoisted them into the water a very friendly bird flew to rest on the seadoo lift in front of us. One of my favourite things about the cabin is the beautiful birds. This bird though, looked right at me and chirped. It was the strangest thing! I had never seen a bird so friendly before. I commented on it to Steph. We thought it was strange, but we had a mission to accomplish! Get. In. The. Water. So, we continued the struggle of trying to get on the floaty without knocking it over and getting soaked. After a tremendous amount of splashing and tipping over, we came to safely rest on our inflatable birds. Whoever said floating is relaxing lied. Maybe in a pool it is relaxing, but in a lake you’re constantly being blown towards impending doom – sharp rocks, boat helms, metal docks . . . So, instead of closing our eyes and letting the waves rock us into a deep rest, we were constantly alert, making sure we didn’t drift off into oblivion. Finally, I decided to close my eyes and listen to the sound of the chirping bird and the waves hitting the rocks. My moment of peace was lifted when Steph began yelling: “Ah! It’s a dead bird!” Followed by her flailing arms and splashing as she tried to escape her swan floating into it. I squinted my eyes to see a tiny, brown mound in the water a few feet from where Steph was. It then hit me, that’s why that other bird was so ‘friendly’! There, resting on the dock right above where the bird was floating was the other bird we had seen earlier, looking down into the water and chirping. “Oh no!” I said, “I think it’s his baby!” Just then, I saw the bird in the water lift its head and open its beak to breathe. “Oh my goodness, it’s still alive! We have to save it!” So began the baby bird rescue mission of 2019. Steph used her tank top to pick up the drowning bird and we placed it on the dock near the squawking parent. It was then that we noticed that there was a nest built into the seadoo lift overtop of the water . . . And inside there were two more baby birds, waiting for their chance to be thrown out of the nest. What a horrible place to build a nest! Over the next few days we continued to check on the baby bird. Slowly he began to dry out and his feathers fluffed out again. He never made it back in his nest of safety, but we watched as his parents protected him from other big birds, fed him and looked out for him. One by one (and each time we seemed to go back) another baby bird had left the nest and flown away into the trees on the bank of the lake. Same nest, same location, the same ‘time to learn to fly’ expectations on each of the baby birds . . . Different results. I think you’re getting my drift . . .
You see, as a leader, I thought that because my lists, calendars, expectations, and covenants created success about 60% of the time, that it should work for everyone, every time. But, by expecting that, I was not taking into account that people are all different and need different things to thrive in their environments – and this is totally okay! The ways that I set up my volunteers with their lists and such are a good base point. I think that is needed for everyone to be able to give them something to go off of. But then, I have to be willing to personalize it from there. To be willing to ask the question of “what is the reason they aren’t succeeding here?” And then to ask Jesus “What can I do to set them up for success?” Three baby birds left the same nest of impending doom. One of them failed. Two of them succeeded. Same situation, different results. This has been my situation continually for the people I lead. Same parameter’s given, but different results produced. As leaders, we need to make room for the individuality of people – to realize that their gifting, callings, experience, character, personality, etc. will cause them all to respond differently. From now on, I am going to expect that . . . To expect them to respond differently and to embrace that as a beautiful part of serving and doing life together. I pray that God will continue to remind me to look for the WHY and to step into the HOW so that my leaders can do the job that I have asked them to do well and with joy. I pray that I would remember to take hold of my job as a leader. That means to not give up so easily on people but to do my due diligence to keep pressing in, keep loving them and helping them, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to become the wonderful person they were created to be; to thrive, overflow with joy and to effectively love those around them.
“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. . .All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills.
For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. For the body does not consist of one member but of many.” 1 Corinthians 12
Written by: Justine Joy
Refined Joy 